








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 310 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,399 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2563 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2893 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3519 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3424 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,186,620 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Ragda | 44% | 102 |
| #9 | SearchMyAim | 42% | 76 |
| #10 | FungsArmy - TheHolk | 39% | 23 |
| #11 | dabears | 39% | 31 |
| #12 | eQix | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rHe! | 24 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Ragda | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | wonderboy | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | ^mrregex$ | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | SearchMyAim | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rHe! | 911 | 0.16 | 27 min |
| #2 | ^mrregex$ | 670 | 0.36 | 19 min |
| #3 | nini | 534 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #4 | Ragda | 251 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | wonderboy | 238 | 0.11 | 6 min |





