








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 671 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 535 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 176 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6979 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,917 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8411 | 26% |
| Smokes | 9176 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 7198 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7132 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,246,232 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1323 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Zegal™ | 51% | 47 |
| #2 | MA | 50% | 44 |
| #3 | Pookie | 43% | 123 |
| #4 | [@c]Del | 41% | 71 |
| #5 | Jeann | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MA | 50% | 44 |
| #3 | Pookie | 43% | 123 |
| #4 | [@c]Del | 41% | 71 |
| #5 | Jeann | 40% | 35 |
| #6 | Nexus | 40% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pookie | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | [@c]Del | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Nexus | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | ★ Zegal™ | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Jeann | 3 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pookie | 360 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | MA | 173 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | [@c]Del | 137 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nexus | 135 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | ★ Zegal™ | 114 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MA | +2.79 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | ☑︎☄︎ H⏳RRY ☄︎☑ | +1.66 | 62 | 72 |
| #3 | Jeann | -0.15 | 68 | 61 |
| #4 | [@c]Del | -0.67 | 70 | 53 |
| #5 | ★ Zegal™ | -1.54 | 52 | 63 |





