








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 455 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Esplay | 41 matches | 2,088 | |
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2137 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1507 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1436 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1664 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1722 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $613,725 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | NaitZ" | 50% | 10 |
| #16 | DKOP | 50% | 14 |
| #17 | .tob | 50% | 24 |
| #18 | Alfi | 50% | 104 |
| #19 | eXICKED | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blenz | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Alfi | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | yeti | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | pun ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | EV | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alfi | 270 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | yeti | 154 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | .tob | 123 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #4 | DKOP | 119 | 0.36 | 4 min |
| #5 | pun ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ | 117 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .tob | +2.62 | 82 | 78 |
| #2 | insi | +1.70 | 50 | 74 |
| #3 | Alfi | +1.61 | 80 | 74 |
| #4 | pun ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ | +1.36 | 72 | 63 |
| #5 | LaptopTORE | +1.22 | 64 | 75 |





