








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 350 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 510 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3857 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,899 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9265 | 26% |
| Smokes | 9823 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 9744 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 7067 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,410,415 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 244 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | anna ᓚᘏᗢ | 43% | 53 |
| #12 | skiM | 41% | 83 |
| #13 | brumzu | 41% | 71 |
| #14 | Junielle | 41% | 32 |
| #15 | soyeon | 39% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WHIFFU | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | taylol | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | brumzu | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | odb | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Konkord ᓚᘏᗢ | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | taylol | 2016 | 0.44 | 69 min |
| #2 | WHIFFU | 927 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #3 | sanD 🐶 | 412 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #4 | Konkord ᓚᘏᗢ | 317 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #5 | soyeon | 254 | 0.14 | 8 min |





