








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 845 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5464 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5077 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4518 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2542 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,953,876 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 826 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jurp | 70% | 33 |
| #2 | casper SWE (weedbay) | 56% | 104 |
| #3 | henchman | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | lexi | 55% | 99 |
| #5 | g0retex | 54% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | g0retex | 54% | 91 |
| #6 | later alligator | 53% | 32 |
| #7 | jkuyko | 53% | 119 |
| #8 | Ralffi Lauren | 42% | 26 |
| #9 | Testari - Liggett & Myers | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jkuyko | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | lexi | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | g0retex | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | later alligator | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | casper SWE (weedbay) | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | g0retex | 305 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | jkuyko | 253 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | lexi | 229 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | casper SWE (weedbay) | 145 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ralffi Lauren | 118 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | casper SWE (weedbay) | +3.98 | 86 | 68 |
| #2 | jkuyko | +1.49 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | 𝙈 𝘼 𝙉 𝙆 | +0.31 | 75 | 67 |
| #4 | jurp | +0.04 | 62 | 76 |
| #5 | g0retex | -0.02 | 63 | 72 |





