








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 432 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2877 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2398 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4334 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3639 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,352,798 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | rakad baever^ | 48% | 263 |
| #5 | fLaXy | 47% | 390 |
| #6 | fLaXy | 47% | 86 |
| #7 | cuddl3bums | 46% | 26 |
| #8 | Fullcab | 44% | 239 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zema | 13 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | fLaXy | 11 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Fullcab | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | rakad baever^ | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | fLaXy | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fLaXy | 1664 | 0.20 | 44 min |
| #2 | Zema | 1293 | 0.22 | 36 min |
| #3 | rakad baever^ | 197 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #4 | fLaXy | 183 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Fullcab | 177 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zema | +2.48 | 47 | 77 |
| #2 | fLaXy | +1.97 | 55 | 69 |
| #3 | fLaXy | +1.15 | 55 | 71 |
| #4 | rakad baever^ | +0.62 | 66 | 62 |
| #5 | Waffle | +0.24 | 47 | 58 |





