








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
916 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1298 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1455 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1192 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1173 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $438,291 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | аgge | 45% | 11 |
| #2 | Byxpek | 44% | 50 |
| #3 | 8SON | 44% | 64 |
| #4 | Gilius | 41% | 121 |
| #5 | Luriph [//_-] | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Luriph [//_-] | 41% | 17 |
| #6 | Kingkongshowdown | 40% | 62 |
| #7 | Bero | 37% | 86 |
| #8 | MvhÖster | 36% | 61 |
| #9 | boban1 | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gilius | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Byxpek | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Bero | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Luriph [//_-] | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Kingkongshowdown | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gilius | 222 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Bero | 211 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Kingkongshowdown | 177 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | MvhÖster | 103 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | 8SON | 64 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 8SON | +1.77 | 67 | 53 |
| #2 | Kingkongshowdown | +1.52 | 65 | 62 |
| #3 | MvhÖster | +0.96 | 49 | 58 |
| #4 | Gilius | +0.45 | 57 | 68 |
| #5 | Byxpek | +0.05 | 59 | 60 |





