








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 391 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3312 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2873 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4172 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3449 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3192 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,196,801 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 243 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kingkongshowdown | 49% | 176 |
| #2 | Byxpek | 47% | 110 |
| #3 | аgge | 47% | 36 |
| #4 | MvhÖster | 46% | 145 |
| #5 | 8SON | 46% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | MvhÖster | 46% | 145 |
| #5 | 8SON | 46% | 115 |
| #6 | Bero | 42% | 151 |
| #7 | Kaos Karlsson | 41% | 121 |
| #8 | Luriph [//_-] | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Byxpek | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | MvhÖster | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Kingkongshowdown | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Bero | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Kaos Karlsson | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kingkongshowdown | 469 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | Bero | 330 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | MvhÖster | 290 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Kaos Karlsson | 156 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Byxpek | 115 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 8SON | +1.23 | 66 | 55 |
| #2 | Kingkongshowdown | +1.11 | 63 | 63 |
| #3 | аgge | +0.53 | 42 | 68 |
| #4 | MvhÖster | +0.51 | 49 | 65 |
| #5 | Gilius | +0.34 | 57 | 69 |





