








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1086 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,558 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 757 | 30% |
| Smokes | 446 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 753 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 602 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $115,503 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .syreX^ | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | JustJay | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | KURJAJUUR | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | ♿? | 80% | 15 |
| #5 | Screw-Luck | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ♿? | 80% | 15 |
| #5 | Screw-Luck | 57% | 7 |
| #6 | kb | 52% | 21 |
| #7 | JustJayCS | 42% | 19 |
| #8 | Pizza_Heart | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kb | 9 | 0.0230 |
| #2 | KURJAJUUR | 5 | 0.0500 |
| #3 | ♿? | 3 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | JustJay | 1 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kb | 53 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | JustJayCS | 22 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #3 | KURJAJUUR | 13 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | .syreX^ | 11 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Screw-Luck | 10 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | White Death | +4.77 | 88 | 49 |
| #2 | ♿? | +4.22 | 84 | 21 |
| #3 | .syreX^ | +1.34 | 83 | 51 |
| #4 | KURJAJUUR | +1.21 | 63 | 60 |
| #5 | kb | -0.26 | 51 | 40 |





