








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 375 matches | ||
| Wingman | 296 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 94 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10521 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,083 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7095 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3491 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 9739 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 5758 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $491,612 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1647 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KURJAJUUR | 56% | 146 |
| #2 | Mr.pumk1n | 55% | 117 |
| #3 | [240KM/H PEEK] Kugelblitz | 54% | 247 |
| #4 | Cxtzz | 48% | 50 |
| #5 | molodoyfan | 47% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KURJAJUUR | 27 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | molodoyfan | 19 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | [240KM/H PEEK] Kugelblitz | 16 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Cxtzz | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Screw-Luck | 4 | 0.0032 |





