








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 462 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2320 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,029 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1451 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1919 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1187 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1472 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $784,088 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 827 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [ILF] JonBork | 93% | 14 |
| #2 | masterpoops2nd | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | detox spaceout | 64% | 25 |
| #4 | Duderoni | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | 𝕯eTox freakbob | 63% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | detox spaceout | 5 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | RODBUSTER | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Twitch.TV/SoSpacedOutt | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | masterpoops2nd | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | 𝕯eTox freakbob | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mentally stable (they/them) | +5.30 | 80 | 62 |
| #2 | masterpoops2nd | +0.28 | 58 | 61 |
| #3 | Antishock | +0.15 | 83 | 57 |
| #4 | 𝕯eTox freakbob | +0.13 | 43 | 45 |
| #5 | Duderoni | -0.27 | 20 | 47 |





