








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 545 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 227 matches | ||
| Faceit | 194 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6299 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8226 | 35% |
| Smokes | 6238 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5409 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3966 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $901,669 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 611 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Haaland | 53% | 34 |
| #10 | sectun | 51% | 41 |
| #11 | Meggyi | 51% | 104 |
| #12 | Gabiiii* | 49% | 109 |
| #13 | 6almas 5let | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ben1ke | 21 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | georgie | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Meggyi | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | gorgie | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | mirage enjoyer | 6 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ben1ke | 1191 | 0.21 | 35 min |
| #2 | Gabiiii* | 468 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #3 | gorgie | 444 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| #4 | Meggyi | 152 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | sectun | 142 | 0.16 | 3 min |





