








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 221 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 30 matches | 1,875 | |
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1534 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,321 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 730 | 31% |
| Smokes | 404 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 551 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 636 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $409,384 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gimme the boiii | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | mIKAELP | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | ZeRostyle! | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | b00mer2k | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | develo-- | 55% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | develo-- | 152 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | gimme the boiii | 78 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #3 | mIKAELP | 41 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #4 | ZeRostyle! | 28 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | spinz | 27 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mIKAELP | +2.02 | 55 | 76 |
| #2 | gimme the boiii | +1.90 | 62 | 86 |
| #3 | elwood | +1.28 | 57 | 76 |
| #4 | tudz | +0.45 | 75 | 53 |
| #5 | develo-- | +0.37 | 67 | 73 |





