








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 233 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1120 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,377 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 983 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1172 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1123 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1099 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $228,261 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Bizness | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | HRP newborn | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | xZeqraa | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | fleurbb | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | BladeV | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | fleurbb | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | BladeV | 54% | 13 |
| #6 | Heinrich Jäger | 50% | 8 |
| #7 | haliuswQwQw | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | Fluxi | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BladeV | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Fluxi | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | fleurbb | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | HRP newborn | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haliuswQwQw | 66 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #2 | fleurbb | 61 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | xZeqraa | 30 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | ✪ Bizness | 28 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Heinrich Jäger | 22 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fluxi | +1.32 | 90 | 62 |
| #2 | xZeqraa | +0.96 | 66 | 64 |
| #3 | HRP newborn | +0.85 | 70 | 45 |
| #4 | fleurbb | +0.81 | 87 | 47 |
| #5 | Luciffer* | +0.68 | 72 | 66 |





