








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,393 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1848 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2025 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2487 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2033 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $515,983 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BauerBodni | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | MIKKEL =D | 68% | 78 |
| #3 | ムDKR MiniKitsune | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | zabidk | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | xepti0n | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Zer0 | 56% | 72 |
| #7 | Pibeministeren | 55% | 22 |
| #8 | ♡𝕷𝖚𝖑𝖑𝖊𝕸𝖎s | 53% | 15 |
| #9 | Dkayhunter | 48% | 29 |
| #10 | K1ngWave | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MIKKEL =D | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Zer0 | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | K1ngWave | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Dkayhunter | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zer0 | 281 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | K1ngWave | 89 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | MIKKEL =D | 87 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | BauerBodni | 63 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | zabidk | 44 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MIKKEL =D | +4.91 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | TrEksi | +2.34 | 79 | 64 |
| #3 | Zer0 | +1.99 | 90 | 55 |
| #4 | xepti0n | +1.72 | 52 | 47 |
| #5 | BauerBodni | +0.20 | 56 | 73 |





