








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
631 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 342 | 21% |
| Smokes | 535 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 368 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 393 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $166,818 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swade | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Moose_💕 | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | L A C K L U S T E R | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | Indy | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | c0dA//.- | 57% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | dramatron | 29% | 7 |
| #12 | precog` | 25% | 4 |
| #13 | quik | 25% | 4 |
| #14 | Stogey | 25% | 4 |
| #15 | titter | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c0dA//.- | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Swade | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | sdo | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | b' | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | dramatron | 1 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c0dA//.- | 217 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #2 | sdo | 59 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | spd | 54 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | dramatron | 54 | 0.40 | 1 min |
| #5 | b' | 46 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Indy | +2.86 | 81 | 54 |
| #2 | b' | +2.43 | 95 | 54 |
| #3 | Juan//.- | +1.57 | 67 | 77 |
| #4 | spd | +1.05 | 58 | 56 |
| #5 | L A C K L U S T E R | +1.03 | 65 | 70 |





