








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2336 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,648 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2128 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1929 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2856 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1735 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $730,418 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 0nEl0vE_3m | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | sorbear | 41% | 49 |
| #9 | Tubby Toucan | 37% | 27 |
| #10 | Maz | 37% | 27 |
| #11 | Chef | 37% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KingDaddy69 | 8 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | heat | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Maz | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Cowpoke Kid | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | sNada | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heat | 166 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | sNada | 115 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | KingDaddy69 | 103 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Cowpoke Kid | 88 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Chef | 82 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0nEl0vE_3m | +3.31 | 81 | 54 |
| #2 | Cowpoke Kid | +2.68 | 84 | 72 |
| #3 | KingDaddy69 | +2.62 | 66 | 67 |
| #4 | Maz | +1.54 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | heat | +1.29 | 72 | 64 |





