








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 755 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 520 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6228 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5134 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6563 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4086 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4322 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,728,102 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 450 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [AA] Walter | 53% | 53 |
| #2 | FerskenDreng | 48% | 93 |
| #3 | KingWraithDK | 47% | 140 |
| #4 | [AA] Bobby Olsen | 46% | 161 |
| #5 | `_´ DK | 46% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | </Scorpion> | 38% | 42 |
| #11 | ondand | 37% | 41 |
| #12 | Bobby | 32% | 34 |
| #13 | CrazyCunt | 32% | 31 |
| #14 | BloodsuckerDAD | 26% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [AA] Pim de Keysergracht | 24 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | [PBSr] DJ-Henning | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | [AA] KillerKaren | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | `_´ DK | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | [AA] Bobby Olsen | 5 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [AA] Bobby Olsen | 290 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | [PBSr] DJ-Henning | 275 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | [AA] Pim de Keysergracht | 200 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | KingWraithDK | 171 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | FerskenDreng | 165 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [PBSr] DJ-Henning | +2.13 | 51 | 74 |
| #2 | KANNE | +1.66 | 42 | 59 |
| #3 | FerskenDreng | +1.55 | 35 | 57 |
| #4 | ondand | +1.32 | 38 | 62 |
| #5 | [AA] Pim de Keysergracht | -0.47 | 20 | 46 |





