








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
661 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,615 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 352 | 22% |
| Smokes | 536 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 373 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 354 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $309,110 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Axe | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | EA$Y @thebookclubcannabis | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | hak | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | xenkw0n | 56% | 54 |
| #5 | Iceyd00d | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | hak | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | xenkw0n | 56% | 54 |
| #5 | Iceyd00d | 50% | 42 |
| #6 | minority | 45% | 11 |
| #7 | Powdered Toast Man | 29% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iceyd00d | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Powdered Toast Man | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | hak | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EA$Y @thebookclubcannabis | 127 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | Iceyd00d | 78 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | xenkw0n | 56 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | minority | 21 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Powdered Toast Man | 17 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hak | +2.53 | 73 | 38 |
| #2 | xenkw0n | +2.53 | 56 | 46 |
| #3 | Iceyd00d | +1.67 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | minority | +1.01 | 82 | 56 |
| #5 | Axe | +0.17 | 81 | 23 |





