








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1940 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1017 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1132 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1425 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1153 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $453,385 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oomi | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | cdb | 56% | 93 |
| #3 | cDAVIS | 55% | 128 |
| #4 | gNat[SaB] | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | h3x | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | cDAVIS | 55% | 128 |
| #4 | gNat[SaB] | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | h3x | 52% | 29 |
| #6 | Nickoson | 50% | 118 |
| #7 | Drakk | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cDAVIS | 13 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | cdb | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Nickoson | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | h3x | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | gNat[SaB] | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cdb | 298 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Nickoson | 221 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | cDAVIS | 180 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | h3x | 74 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | gNat[SaB] | 71 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oomi | +5.35 | 93 | 49 |
| #2 | cdb | +1.90 | 74 | 67 |
| #3 | ren- | +1.74 | 76 | 67 |
| #4 | h3x | +1.57 | 67 | 78 |
| #5 | gNat[SaB] | -0.29 | 71 | 71 |





