








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 106 matches | ||
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2369 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3257 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2134 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2294 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1847 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $256,088 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JokeR | 54% | 155 |
| #2 | ren- | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | Nickoson | 49% | 117 |
| #4 | cDAVIS | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | cdb | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ren- | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | Nickoson | 49% | 117 |
| #4 | cDAVIS | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | cdb | 43% | 14 |
| #6 | Toad | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nickoson | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | cDAVIS | 5 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | ren- | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | JokeR | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Toad | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nickoson | 225 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | JokeR | 188 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Toad | 107 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | ren- | 67 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | cDAVIS | 37 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3x | +3.06 | 71 | 72 |
| #2 | ren- | +1.13 | 69 | 71 |
| #3 | cDAVIS | -0.20 | 63 | 56 |
| #4 | JokeR | -0.55 | 55 | 56 |
| #5 | Nickoson | -1.32 | 69 | 69 |





