








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
562 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 832 | 30% |
| Smokes | 785 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 428 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 705 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $71,116 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Itachi Versace | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | [B]ennyS | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | FRITZ FRIES | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | ✪ Avid | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | ZigZee | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Bo | 50% | 4 |
| #15 | Aiendar | 45% | 22 |
| #16 | Rey Rey | 33% | 3 |
| #17 | -allancs | 33% | 9 |
| #18 | Squishy's ass hair | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow Quack | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Yuki | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | -allancs | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sev | 82 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #2 | ✪ Avid | 81 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | fowl | 79 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | mjc | 43 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | [B]ennyS | 41 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fowl | +3.22 | 88 | 71 |
| #2 | wyamauchi | +2.85 | 62 | 78 |
| #3 | Rey Rey | +2.41 | 52 | 67 |
| #4 | mjc | +2.36 | 90 | 62 |
| #5 | [B]ennyS | +2.22 | 87 | 61 |





