










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 543 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 470 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5066 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,407 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12464 | 35% |
| Smokes | 9471 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7099 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6373 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,336,351 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 763 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕨𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕠𝕣𝕤 | 55% | 38 |
| #2 | El Thunder | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | panther | 52% | 42 |
| #4 | Lacu <3 BumpinG | 48% | 60 |
| #5 | vaka | 48% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | panther | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | El Thunder | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Raluca03 | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | vaka | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | 𝕨𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕠𝕣𝕤 | 1 | 0.0012 |





