








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 322 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 117 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1948 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,599 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2131 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2805 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1879 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1784 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $786,304 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rob | 76% | 21 |
| #2 | Tower | 75% | 16 |
| #3 | Gary | 68% | 34 |
| #4 | Manatee | 65% | 26 |
| #5 | Gliss | 65% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Gliss | 65% | 43 |
| #6 | ✪ Swoop | 65% | 54 |
| #7 | Farmer John | 63% | 30 |
| #8 | silenceintheballroom | 62% | 45 |
| #9 | Extremist_Gang | 61% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Swoop | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Manatee | 4 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | silenceintheballroom | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Gliss | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Gary | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Swoop | 276 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #2 | Gliss | 195 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | silenceintheballroom | 189 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Farmer John | 120 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Gary | 82 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tower | +4.51 | 86 | 51 |
| #2 | Farmer John | +4.03 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | Rob | +1.98 | 75 | 53 |
| #4 | Manatee | +1.21 | 80 | 75 |
| #5 | Extremist_Gang | +1.14 | 68 | 55 |





