








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2019 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,729 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5216 | 41% |
| Smokes | 3699 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1552 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2262 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $243,123 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JimmzN | 61% | 77 |
| #2 | herbal[10*] | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | shax | 51% | 140 |
| #4 | Knäcke | 49% | 97 |
| #5 | m4cOO | 48% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | shax | 51% | 140 |
| #4 | Knäcke | 49% | 97 |
| #5 | m4cOO | 48% | 112 |
| #6 | FreeZ | 38% | 13 |
| #7 | 1kaiser | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knäcke | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | shax | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | m4cOO | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | JimmzN | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | herbal[10*] | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shax | 551 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | m4cOO | 374 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | JimmzN | 368 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #4 | Knäcke | 288 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | herbal[10*] | 62 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1kaiser | +0.82 | 70 | 59 |
| #2 | imbaaA | +0.79 | 73 | 82 |
| #3 | m4cOO | +0.67 | 75 | 69 |
| #4 | Knäcke | +0.24 | 71 | 77 |
| #5 | shax | -0.17 | 55 | 63 |





