








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Faceit | 212 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,760 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5366 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5320 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4511 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4563 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $940,716 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sinnerle | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | Knäcke | 56% | 163 |
| #3 | joshh | 56% | 52 |
| #4 | Noname | 54% | 173 |
| #5 | Jenson :D | 53% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | seak | 50% | 30 |
| #13 | Fireblade | 50% | 48 |
| #14 | stinkwer?Oo | 48% | 71 |
| #15 | Kenobiwan | 48% | 46 |
| #16 | 1kaiser | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | stinkwer?Oo | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Kvikne | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | imbaaA | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | joshh | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | imbaaA | 1159 | 0.39 | 34 min |
| #2 | Noname | 781 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #3 | Knäcke | 514 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #4 | m4cOO | 510 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #5 | Fireblade | 240 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cr4sh | +2.46 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | m4cOO | +1.21 | 75 | 71 |
| #3 | Juqu3r | +0.79 | 83 | 61 |
| #4 | Jenson :D | +0.72 | 75 | 63 |
| #5 | 2 | +0.68 | 78 | 76 |





