








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 567 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 102 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1939 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,087 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2864 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3316 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2663 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2244 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $753,989 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jean-Luc Mashallah | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | CoSλ | 48% | 29 |
| #3 | Zoldik | 47% | 110 |
| #4 | EpiczTW | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | Rien à fr00t. | 43% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | EpiczTW | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | Rien à fr00t. | 43% | 47 |
| #6 | Candy In My Pants | 42% | 19 |
| #7 | JOKERztw | 42% | 24 |
| #8 | rromain | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoldik | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Rien à fr00t. | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | JOKERztw | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Jean-Luc Mashallah | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rromain | 183 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #2 | Zoldik | 169 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | CoSλ | 122 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | JOKERztw | 117 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | Candy In My Pants | 86 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOKERztw | +2.03 | 64 | 81 |
| #2 | rromain | +1.49 | 50 | 82 |
| #3 | Jean-Luc Mashallah | +1.12 | 68 | 64 |
| #4 | DBill | +0.43 | 50 | 71 |
| #5 | Zoldik | +0.20 | 44 | 66 |





