








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
75 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 23 | 11% |
| Smokes | 89 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 31 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 62 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $28,350 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pwnage | 40% | 5 |
| #2 | BigHandsome | 36% | 14 |
| #3 | blues | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | Chef Dan | 33% | 12 |
| #5 | MustStopLosing | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BigHandsome | 36% | 14 |
| #3 | blues | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | Chef Dan | 33% | 12 |
| #5 | MustStopLosing | 31% | 13 |
| #6 | Carzydog | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MustStopLosing | 2 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigHandsome | 52 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | MustStopLosing | 41 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | blues | 17 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #4 | Carzydog | 6 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | pwnage | 4 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MustStopLosing | +3.19 | 67 | 56 |
| #2 | pwnage | +3.15 | 90 | 37 |
| #3 | Carzydog | -0.76 | 50 | 57 |
| #4 | BigHandsome | -2.16 | 16 | 61 |
| #5 | blues | -3.19 | 36 | 65 |





