








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 280 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1630 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1559 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1627 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1181 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1389 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $497,411 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dec0 | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Azzy | 60% | 108 |
| #3 | Fxr | 60% | 173 |
| #4 | Numberwang! | 60% | 165 |
| #5 | KingBoomer | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dec0 | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Azzy | 60% | 108 |
| #3 | Fxr | 60% | 173 |
| #4 | Numberwang! | 60% | 165 |
| #5 | KingBoomer | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fxr | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Azzy | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Numberwang! | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | KingBoomer | 2 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Numberwang! | 1169 | 0.35 | 32 min |
| #2 | Azzy | 529 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #3 | Fxr | 424 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #4 | KingBoomer | 48 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | dec0 | 37 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azzy | +4.32 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | Fxr | +1.99 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | KingBoomer | +1.31 | 66 | 67 |
| #4 | dec0 | +0.99 | 72 | 67 |
| #5 | Sam | -0.68 | 65 | 67 |





