








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 997 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4170 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4916 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4363 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5338 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4754 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $482,086 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dec0 | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | Legolasse | 60% | 53 |
| #3 | Sam | 60% | 173 |
| #4 | Azzy | 58% | 206 |
| #5 | KingBoomer | 55% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Numberwang! | 19 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | KingBoomer | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Azzy | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Sam | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Legolasse | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Numberwang! | 3496 | 0.36 | 94 min |
| #2 | Azzy | 890 | 0.21 | 25 min |
| #3 | Sam | 375 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | KingBoomer | 333 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | Ba1ter | 102 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azzy | +3.96 | 76 | 67 |
| #2 | Fxr | +2.04 | 75 | 61 |
| #3 | dec0 | +2.02 | 72 | 67 |
| #4 | KingBoomer | +1.04 | 72 | 66 |
| #5 | Ba1ter | +0.01 | 67 | 69 |





