








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 20 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
209 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 194 | 23% |
| Smokes | 182 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 228 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 230 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $98,630 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diddmau5 | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | g1mp | 30 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #2 | diddmau5 | 14 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | Laffi Kex^- | 12 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | BorkeyT | 9 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Payne | 7 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nomango | +4.34 | 77 | 76 |
| #2 | J1nX | +1.63 | 74 | 60 |
| #3 | g1mp | +1.54 | 74 | 72 |
| #4 | Laffi Kex^- | +1.17 | 74 | 71 |
| #5 | BorkeyT | +0.02 | 72 | 70 |





