








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
512 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 625 | 27% |
| Smokes | 616 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 672 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 383 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $143,593 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | himm00n | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | darkeh24 | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | brumzu | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | phrozen[SaB] | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | gNat[SaB] | 53% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | phrozen[SaB] | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | gNat[SaB] | 53% | 43 |
| #6 | d4tbird | 38% | 8 |
| #7 | hipn0tiq | 25% | 8 |
| #8 | im teh sAmurAi ת/ύ | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phrozen[SaB] | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | himm00n | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | d4tbird | 1 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phrozen[SaB] | 229 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #2 | gNat[SaB] | 141 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | darkeh24 | 91 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | himm00n | 61 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | brumzu | 38 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gNat[SaB] | +1.67 | 78 | 72 |
| #2 | d4tbird | +0.10 | 60 | 62 |
| #3 | hammy2q | +0.05 | 68 | 61 |
| #4 | phrozen[SaB] | +0.01 | 75 | 56 |
| #5 | himm00n | -0.24 | 82 | 57 |





