








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2667 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2437 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2622 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2512 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1540 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,309,560 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hammy2q | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | cdb | 52% | 48 |
| #3 | kdot34 | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | phrozen[SaB] | 48% | 152 |
| #5 | himm00n | 47% | 190 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | d4tbird | 46% | 57 |
| #8 | brumzu | 45% | 98 |
| #9 | hipn0tiq | 45% | 105 |
| #10 | im teh sAmurAi ת/ύ | 42% | 72 |
| #11 | XipeR | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gNat[SaB] | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | d4tbird | 8 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | phrozen[SaB] | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | himm00n | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | im teh sAmurAi ת/ύ | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gNat[SaB] | 864 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #2 | phrozen[SaB] | 752 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #3 | himm00n | 443 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | hipn0tiq | 296 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | brumzu | 272 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gNat[SaB] | +1.72 | 76 | 73 |
| #2 | cdb | +1.68 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | XipeR | +1.62 | 69 | 79 |
| #4 | phrozen[SaB] | +0.55 | 73 | 65 |
| #5 | hammy2q | +0.34 | 68 | 63 |





