








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 691 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Esplay | 63 matches | 1,719 | |
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4405 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4384 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6310 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5316 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4034 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,544,361 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 487 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | groggy~ | 56% | 80 |
| #7 | ClawfingeR | 56% | 27 |
| #8 | Axxo | 50% | 103 |
| #9 | 𝖎𝖙𝖘𝖜𝖍𝖔 | 48% | 56 |
| #10 | GRETA TUBORG | 46% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GRETA TUBORG | 409 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | Axxo | 248 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | 𝖎𝖙𝖘𝖜𝖍𝖔 | 177 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | groggy~ | 176 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Breko | 145 | 0.19 | 3 min |





