








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 860 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 521 matches | ||
| Esplay | 128 matches | 1,775 | |
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,957 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7142 | 22% |
| Smokes | 8328 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 9204 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7283 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,875,492 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunjet | 60% | 42 |
| #2 | 𝖎𝖙𝖘𝖜𝖍𝖔 | 51% | 192 |
| #3 | Fisher | 46% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunjet | 60% | 42 |
| #2 | 𝖎𝖙𝖘𝖜𝖍𝖔 | 51% | 192 |
| #3 | Fisher | 46% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖎𝖙𝖘𝖜𝖍𝖔 | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Fisher | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Hunjet | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖎𝖙𝖘𝖜𝖍𝖔 | 637 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | Fisher | 491 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | Hunjet | 84 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖎𝖙𝖘𝖜𝖍𝖔 | +3.29 | 90 | 70 |
| #2 | Fisher | +0.10 | 38 | 66 |
| #3 | GRETA TUBORG | -0.62 | 22 | 60 |
| #4 | Hunjet | -2.63 | 53 | 57 |





