








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1070 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 332 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 123 matches | ||
| Wingman | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7713 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,126 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3911 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4966 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 7142 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 6107 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,095,241 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Q.3.D | 25 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Frank, from the Chicago office | 24 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Frylock | 23 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | π
Άπ
΄π ππ
Ύπ
Όπ
΄ π
²π
Ύπ
»π
³ π
²πππ | 17 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | ko_na | 16 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Q.3.D | 2256 | 0.23 | 65 min |
| #2 | Frylock | 1147 | 0.12 | 30 min |
| #3 | π
Άπ
΄π ππ
Ύπ
Όπ
΄ π
²π
Ύπ
»π
³ π
²πππ | 862 | 0.24 | 26 min |
| #4 | Frank, from the Chicago office | 639 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #5 | ko_na | 518 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frylock | +2.09 | 50 | 65 |
| #2 | π
Άπ
΄π ππ
Ύπ
Όπ
΄ π
²π
Ύπ
»π
³ π
²πππ | +1.99 | 74 | 73 |
| #3 | Q.3.D | +1.82 | 67 | 67 |
| #4 | hyuN[ts] | +0.95 | 65 | 72 |
| #5 | ko_na | +0.17 | 49 | 69 |





