








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 926 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3236 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,689 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3150 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4262 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4035 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3242 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,210,144 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frank, from the Chicago office | 22 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Q.3.D | 11 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | abi1ity | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | π
Άπ
΄π ππ
Ύπ
Όπ
΄ π
²π
Ύπ
»π
³ π
²πππ | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Frylock | 7 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Q.3.D | +2.45 | 68 | 68 |
| #2 | π
Άπ
΄π ππ
Ύπ
Όπ
΄ π
²π
Ύπ
»π
³ π
²πππ | +2.01 | 75 | 73 |
| #3 | Frylock | +1.20 | 46 | 65 |
| #4 | hyuN[ts] | +0.31 | 59 | 74 |
| #5 | ko_na | +0.21 | 50 | 69 |





