








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 503 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1934 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,061 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2144 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2107 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1791 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2019 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,133,818 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 783 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π
Άπ
΄π ππ
Ύπ
Όπ
΄ π
²π
Ύπ
»π
³ π
²πππ | 15 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | abi1ity | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Q.3.D | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | ko_na | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Frank, from the Chicago office | 5 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frylock | +3.08 | 51 | 64 |
| #2 | Q.3.D | +2.85 | 67 | 65 |
| #3 | π
Άπ
΄π ππ
Ύπ
Όπ
΄ π
²π
Ύπ
»π
³ π
²πππ | +2.83 | 75 | 74 |
| #4 | ko_na | +1.04 | 53 | 67 |
| #5 | abi1ity | +0.76 | 49 | 56 |





