








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 395 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 236 matches | ||
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2554 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,002 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3466 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5549 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4960 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3027 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,606,238 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1058 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Sternlauch | 40% | 25 |
| #9 | fishy # The Sky Was Pink | 40% | 30 |
| #10 | Karoline | 34% | 35 |
| #11 | [KeBaBBuDe]CHoLeRa | 29% | 24 |
| #12 | 'vecros | 23% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Handcode | +3.14 | 67 | 52 |
| #2 | Sternlauch | +2.22 | 67 | 68 |
| #3 | Sternfaust | +1.66 | 65 | 72 |
| #4 | ♚King Gecko♚ | +0.98 | 25 | 63 |
| #5 | ʞɔn𝟟. | +0.47 | 49 | 73 |





