








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 938 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 508 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5991 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,932 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5401 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6356 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4655 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5520 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,190,132 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 200 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImRelo | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | dabi | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | ♚King Gecko♚ | 52% | 46 |
| #4 | Ankroton | 51% | 101 |
| #5 | Play1live | 50% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Play1live | 50% | 101 |
| #6 | Qdi | 50% | 38 |
| #7 | Handcode | 50% | 299 |
| #8 | Karoline | 45% | 65 |
| #9 | Munck | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Handcode | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | dabi | 7 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Ankroton | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Karoline | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | ♚King Gecko♚ | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Play1live | 198 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | dabi | 188 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | Ankroton | 173 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Handcode | 139 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #5 | Qdi | 61 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dabi | +5.91 | 91 | 76 |
| #2 | Handcode | +1.10 | 64 | 50 |
| #3 | Munck | +0.77 | 51 | 47 |
| #4 | Sternfaust | +0.41 | 66 | 67 |
| #5 | ImRelo | +0.23 | 52 | 56 |





