








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 401 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 357 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,529 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4103 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3258 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4155 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3013 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,190,964 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 821 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReDoNkUluS | 55% | 44 |
| #2 | SAND SPIDER | 54% | 67 |
| #3 | Like_*_A_*_Fox | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | ROSEHORSE | 50% | 62 |
| #5 | I Wear No Pants | 50% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Like_*_A_*_Fox | 10 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | BeardedPiro | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Dang | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | iLLmatiK | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Brown Shrek | 5 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iLLmatiK | 373 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | I Wear No Pants | 358 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | BeardedPiro | 299 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | Dang | 293 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | Brown Shrek | 197 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I Wear No Pants | +2.72 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | Dang | +1.46 | 59 | 61 |
| #3 | Kallen | +1.16 | 86 | 51 |
| #4 | Brown Shrek | +1.00 | 50 | 65 |
| #5 | ReDoNkUluS | +0.68 | 66 | 52 |





