








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 447 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 361 matches | ||
| Faceit | 167 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,729 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4131 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4838 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5027 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2733 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,517,149 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 375 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jzor | 53% | 68 |
| #2 | dirty | 52% | 288 |
| #3 | r3gan^G | 51% | 216 |
| #4 | inVert | 49% | 69 |
| #5 | FlameReject | 49% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jzor | 53% | 68 |
| #2 | dirty | 52% | 288 |
| #3 | r3gan^G | 51% | 216 |
| #4 | inVert | 49% | 69 |
| #5 | FlameReject | 49% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r3gan^G | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | dirty | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | FlameReject | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | inVert | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dirty | 804 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #2 | r3gan^G | 405 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | FlameReject | 253 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | inVert | 126 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jzor | 111 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | inVert | +2.27 | 88 | 57 |
| #2 | FlameReject | +1.61 | 78 | 70 |
| #3 | r3gan^G | +0.85 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | PORTER[DET] | +0.05 | 71 | 63 |
| #5 | dirty | -0.08 | 68 | 69 |





