








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 837 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3214 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,391 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1284 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2627 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3369 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2111 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,284,622 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 197 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Photaque | 68% | 37 |
| #2 | Matte | 55% | 163 |
| #3 | Ady | 53% | 258 |
| #4 | Velcant | 52% | 88 |
| #5 | Tumppi | 52% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ady | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Matte | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Tumppi | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Aran | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | jesm!es. | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ady | 612 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #2 | Tumppi | 231 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Matte | 184 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | jesm!es. | 102 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Velcant | 69 | 0.04 | 2 min |





