








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2288 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,172 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2160 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2937 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3313 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2762 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,070,730 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 349 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UffeEmma - Da-Pivah //UfoFanger | 72% | 29 |
| #2 | am1r | 65% | 37 |
| #3 | Funky_chicken | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | fuzzyPants | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | qvazA | 53% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | qvazA | 53% | 208 |
| #6 | p4veN | 53% | 154 |
| #7 | myriZzzle | 52% | 198 |
| #8 | BOT Because | 52% | 303 |
| #9 | JÆBBE | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Because | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | myriZzzle | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | qvazA | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | p4veN | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | am1r | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4veN | 452 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | myriZzzle | 188 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | BOT Because | 142 | 0.02 | 5 min |
| #4 | qvazA | 123 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | am1r | 96 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qvazA | +2.15 | 73 | 59 |
| #2 | BOT Because | +1.69 | 73 | 60 |
| #3 | Funky_chicken | +1.14 | 61 | 64 |
| #4 | am1r | +0.49 | 59 | 69 |
| #5 | p4veN | -0.12 | 73 | 69 |





