








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 159 | 16% |
| Smokes | 231 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 445 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 134 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $238,281 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xoai- | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | b0z0_o | 37% | 75 |
| #3 | Homeless | 35% | 95 |
| #4 | Super | 35% | 95 |
| #5 | Harbinger | 31% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Homeless | 35% | 95 |
| #4 | Super | 35% | 95 |
| #5 | Harbinger | 31% | 55 |
| #6 | Wetty! | 20% | 5 |
| #7 | GeorgeOcean | 15% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Homeless | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Harbinger | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | GeorgeOcean | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super | 247 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | Homeless | 52 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Harbinger | 48 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | GeorgeOcean | 40 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | b0z0_o | 26 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xoai- | +4.36 | 90 | 65 |
| #2 | Super | +2.26 | 66 | 76 |
| #3 | Wetty! | +1.80 | 89 | 77 |
| #4 | GeorgeOcean | +0.34 | 72 | 70 |
| #5 | Homeless | +0.23 | 61 | 50 |





