








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 930 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3079 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1417 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1980 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $529,973 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mmoo | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Вall[Z?] | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | Jet46 | 53% | 45 |
| #4 | J0shDirty | 49% | 63 |
| #5 | Jimbo | 48% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimbo | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | J0shDirty | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Jet46 | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | halucid | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | dirty30 | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J0shDirty | 79 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | Jet46 | 79 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bmdz* | 35 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | dirty30 | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jimbo | 33 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Вall[Z?] | +2.52 | 58 | 43 |
| #2 | mmoo | +2.50 | 68 | 61 |
| #3 | dirty30 | +1.48 | 78 | 59 |
| #4 | Diamond | +1.45 | 79 | 68 |
| #5 | Jimbo | +1.13 | 44 | 48 |





