








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 948 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 450 matches | ||
| Wingman | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5516 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,142 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4426 | 15% |
| Smokes | 6538 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 9813 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 8365 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,616,491 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 346 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Balder | hat -ZoRn- | 38% | 45 |
| #8 | ʍıɾo | 38% | 48 |
| #9 | [Tp:B] Rox aim lost | Maik | 36% | 42 |
| #10 | [Tp:B] Pharaun | Bernd | 35% | 117 |
| #11 | Noob | 28% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Tp:B] Pharaun | Bernd | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | [Tp:B] n0_aim | havana | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Stajfhard van SchwФnsen | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | [Tp:B] Lalala | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Noob | 4 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Tp:B] Pharaun | Bernd | 428 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Stajfhard van SchwФnsen | 105 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | [Tp:B] Lalala | 93 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | ʍıɾo | 77 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | -We§e*** | 77 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Tp:B] n0_aim | havana | +2.73 | 61 | 51 |
| #2 | -We§e*** | +2.57 | 70 | 69 |
| #3 | Balder | hat -ZoRn- | +2.15 | 32 | 46 |
| #4 | Stajfhard van SchwФnsen | +1.86 | 32 | 68 |
| #5 | 5iveO | +1.18 | 39 | 53 |





