








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1750 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,242 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2660 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3477 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3329 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2776 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $472,691 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fLu | 55% | 38 |
| #2 | Rig | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | kaithebeast | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | k0xzy | 47% | 66 |
| #5 | samsonyte | 45% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | samsonyte | 45% | 94 |
| #6 | sempiternal | 44% | 255 |
| #7 | BiGjD | 42% | 50 |
| #8 | Spl@tio | 35% | 20 |
| #9 | Losty | 29% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sempiternal | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | k0xzy | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | kaithebeast | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | samsonyte | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | BiGjD | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sempiternal | 685 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #2 | k0xzy | 255 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | fLu | 170 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | Rig | 165 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #5 | BiGjD | 138 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fLu | +2.43 | 72 | 73 |
| #2 | kaithebeast | +2.16 | 56 | 58 |
| #3 | sempiternal | +1.93 | 55 | 74 |
| #4 | k0xzy | +1.47 | 59 | 62 |
| #5 | Rig | +0.90 | 45 | 70 |





