








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Renown | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2510 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4972 | 40% |
| Smokes | 3642 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2425 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1297 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $314,653 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bios | 64% | 33 |
| #2 | Merlin2k14™ ☺ | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | sempiternal | 51% | 53 |
| #4 | Losty | 50% | 150 |
| #5 | samsonyte | 49% | 234 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Rig | 48% | 147 |
| #7 | BiGjD | 48% | 153 |
| #8 | kaithebeast | 46% | 68 |
| #9 | Spl@tio | 45% | 58 |
| #10 | k0xzy | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samsonyte | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Losty | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Rig | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | kaithebeast | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | BiGjD | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rig | 633 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | BiGjD | 333 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | samsonyte | 288 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #4 | Losty | 238 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | sempiternal | 149 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bios | +3.32 | 61 | 68 |
| #2 | kaithebeast | +2.71 | 63 | 60 |
| #3 | sempiternal | +1.67 | 50 | 77 |
| #4 | fLu | +0.90 | 60 | 74 |
| #5 | Rig | +0.05 | 43 | 73 |





