








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 606 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 475 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 1,799 | |
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4377 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,277 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4537 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3950 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5790 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4000 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,090,527 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1871 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | `cuRRe- | 63% | 43 |
| #2 | Hugo | 57% | 81 |
| #3 | ♛ v0gga ♛ | 56% | 128 |
| #4 | peta | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | gizze | 51% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | die.happy prawl | +2.27 | 72 | 77 |
| #2 | rk555 | +1.64 | 64 | 74 |
| #3 | Hugo | +1.51 | 80 | 62 |
| #4 | EtErNaLeuReキラー.90 | +1.05 | 61 | 77 |
| #5 | GRAMZEBAMSE_25kG | +0.50 | 84 | 76 |





